My 2019 Year Review

Since beggining my year reviews in 2015, this is the first year where I feel a strong reluctance to write one. That being said, in the spirit of consistency, here we go. Adventures this year:

1. 10 Day Vipassana Retreat
2. [Censored]
3. Shen Yun
4. Alexandre Technique
5. Seeing the TOR in Glastonbury
6. Seeing a boxing match
7. Conference
8. Going TATE Museum to Experience Olaffur
9. Seeing Rupert Spira Live Thrice

Where did I travel to this year?

• 13 Days — Chiang Mai
• 2 days in, Cambridge, UK
• 1 day in Dover, UK
• 9 days in Gloucestershire, UK
• 4 days in Essex , UK
• 2 days in Glastonbury, UK

Total: 31 days

Statistics

Health — Gym workouts: 65x, Football: 22x, Cardio: 2x, Floats: 3x, Saunas: 8x
Creative — Articles Published: 2x, Emails Sent to Subscribers: 12x
Skills — Books Read: 30x, Podcast Episodes: 27x
Friends — Meetups: 129x
Adventure — Movies watched: 24x

2019 Year Review

I have had some incredible adventures over the last 4 years, visited over 13 different countries, and spent a total of 215 days abroad. Although, I haven’t always shared pictures, many of my experiences have been worth savouring. I’ve read many books, gotten coached for 3 years on my weaknesses, shared some epic times with family and friends. In between all that, I’ve experienced some terrible lows. I am glad I’ve had so much fun, learnt so much, and experienced new cultures. And suffered along the way.

I came back from Thailand feeling like a different person in the beggining of 2019. But ultimately coming back here, in some respects, felt like taking a step backwards. This was a year of austerirty and addiction awareness. Truth is: I’ve got plenty of addictions which I’ve managed to hide away from myself, into the dark recesses of my life.

After however many years of these addictions playing up in my life, I am finally breaking free. That’s monumental — it really is. I’m indebted to the gift and power of tracking — it’s shined the light on all my little addictions. Most people have addictions, but they don’t even know it. If you tell the average mid 20s person in the west to take a weekend of the internet, perhaps many of them would have resistance towards that idea. Most people don’t even attempt to proactively, and regularly, disconnect from their ‘hobbies’; which prevents them from seeing they have addictions.

I don't’ want to eulogize my accomplishments and give myself a big pat on the back. I fucked up badly this year. I made bad decisions. But what is it that led to those decisions? Is my assessment of the year purely temporal and subjective, and lacking objective insight into how it plays into the grand scheme of things? Is a year review purely a solipsistic exercise in giving yourself some form of self-fellatio so that you can pat yourself on the back mentally, and derive a sense of identity based on the past?

2019 — no doubt was the most difficult year of my recent appointment into adulthood. A year of letting go, austerity, unexpected surprises, and harsh but critical lessons into what it takes to stay on a good path.

1. What movie genre would best describe the last year of my life?

A feeling of deep relaxation that eventually led to feelings of frustration, anxiety, and dissapointment.

2. What two or three major themes kept recurring?

Loss. Dissapointment. Emptiness.

3. What could I have done better this year?

• Being more disciplined
• Writing more
• Rising early

4. What was missing from my life this year that I could potentially implement into the next year?

• Being out of the UK

5. What major life lessons did I learn this year?

• The danger of staying in London for far too long
• The implication of being lax with how you spend your free time
• The importance of having different skills

Summary

2019 was the most difficult year in recent memory.